Monday, 20 August 2012


With the final result of my final piece of academic work released today I have officially completed my course.

Bsc Honours

wow - 3 long hard years, finished.  At times I thought it would kill me - seriously
questioned my sanity many many times

with hindsight would I do it again? no - most definitely not. The course is the hardest thing I have ever done, and even now after completing and having a job to go to I am not sure I feel the love of it.  Time will tell I guess. but right now I am terrified of working as a newly qualified. it seems this is normal, it seems all finalists feel this.

Dreams - weird dreams - of making terrible mistakes or being in terrible situations that cant be resolved.

waking in a cold sweat screaming and crying.

I hope this all passes

But for now I am going to enjoy my Annual Leave and try not to think about starting work too much!

Life is precious

My last post got me thinking a lot more about the fragility of life.

I have lost people close to me over the years, and the older I get the more this happens.  My first memory of loss was my Grandad when I was 15 - it didn't really effect me I was nver close to him (he was 95 when he died) on relflection my Nan must have felt the loss - not only of her husband but the man who would take care of everything.

Then late last year my father in law died, very suddenly and just before he was 65. The effect on my was far deeper, and on my children - particularly my middle child.

But my poor mother in law, she had so much to cope with and at such a young age. not least of all the worry about money, even paying for the funeral seemed such a hurdle - she wasn't sure what insurances policies had been taken out and with whom.

This made me think much more about my future, I am only young (well 43 isn't old is it?) but who knows what's round the corner.
and I am a single parent with 2 young children who need caring for..........

I think I need to write a will, and I also think I need to plan a bit more for the future financially, which of course means life insurance.

I don't doubt for a moment my mum would take care of my children if anything happened to me, but is it fair to put a financial burden on a retired 70 year old?

Wow I think all this thinking and planning means I might actually be growing up!