Monday, 21 May 2012

Exam stress, dissertations and reflection

Of everything I have been through in my life, I can honestly say that hand on heart this is the most stressful time. EVER.

I failed an exam which I had to resit (or restand because its a practical!) this morning, my dissertation deadline is looming, portfolio needs completing and reflections need writing.

All this and I still need to get a job! I find it utterly amazing that despite training with the trust for 3 years, getting a job on qualification is not a given. We have to apply and interview the same as everyone else.  the interview process also includes emergency work stations (such as the stuff we've been going through with OSCE's), only if you pass that will you have an interview - all done on the same day, the walk of shame if you don't get through the work stations must be horrific - worse than falling off your heels on a night out!

Actually I feel pretty sick about the whole process - especially when I am still not sure whether I really want to be a midwife.

Well I do want to be a midwife, I love it.  I love supporting women through such an important time of their life.  But I cannot cope with the politics in the hospital, or some of the seemingly pointless policies and protocols.  And as for the way staff at a lower band (and students) are generally treated, that is appalling.  There are still some 'sisters' who will order a student to make a cup of tea for her, even though the 'sister' is doing paperwork and the student is desperately trying to gain experiences, numbers for her book and essential skills.  Mind you I have seen Newly Qualifieds behaving the same way - seems to give them a sense of importance (even though they were a student just few months previously).

I hope I can remember these things when I am a mentor and can cut some slack to how my students may be feeling, not expecting them to cope with the awful things we see, with no support just an order to 'make a pot of tea'.  maybe I will re read this post once a month from November onwards just to keep myself grounded?

No comments:

Post a Comment